Part 140 - 149

Part One Hundred & Forty

My company was being run by an overall company manager while I was living over one hundred miles away in New Hampshire. Now that I no longer employed him, I was in trouble. I had to find someone I could trust to take over the day-to-day operations and take care of the finances and payroll. I had some very good employees at the time but none had been trained to handle all of these important and confidential tasks.

My long-time friend and employee, Pat, was currently managing the store that we opened in Woonsocket, Rhode Island, but the store wasn’t growing fast enough or generating the profit necessary to keep it open. I talked Pat into closing the Rhode Island store and coming to work at the Worcester location to manage things while I decided what would be the best for the company. I had known Pat for many years and I trusted him completely. In order to pay Pat the amount of money he needed to support his family we agreed that he would begin to list some of our huge inventory on eBay. The extra income that this Internet auction site would provide would help pay his new salary and his health insurance premiums. For this idea to work, Pat would need to list about twenty auction lots each day. This seemed like a good solution for both of us. I now had a trusted friend overseeing my business and Pat would be able to provide a decent income for his family that he had “uprooted” from their home in Pittsburgh to Massachusetts.

We informed our Rhode Island store landlord that we were moving out. Since the landlord was actually the same guy who was renting out half of my Worcester store building, he had no problem with it. He was a great guy to do business with. We packed up a huge moving truck and brought the entire inventory and all of the fixtures back to our Worcester store location. For the next several months Pat tried to sell this excess inventory on eBay. He sold quite a lot of inventory this way but it just wasn’t enough to justify the expenses of his salary plus the high eBay fees. Pat’s wife really wanted to be back in her hometown and her unhappiness in Massachusetts put so much pressure on Pat that he finally decided to quit and return his family to Pennsylvania. I knew I’d miss him because Pat was such a good friend, but he had to take care of his family and he wasn’t really very happy working at my store.

It was around this time that Ken, one of my part-time employees, told me he was willing to increase his hours at the store. It didn’t take him long to learn all of the necessary details to effectively run the two stores. I hoped that this time I had the right manager.

One day, our son Adam called to invite Mal and me down to Massachusetts to see him perform in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” at his college. We were eager to see him tackle such a fun role. We drove to the college and were surprised to see Adam in his colorful costume. He had also dyed his hair a strange green color for the role. Adam was upset when we arrived because this was a student-directed play and the college had now, a few hours before the play was to start, decided that they wouldn’t allow the performance to begin because the director hadn’t legally gotten the “rights” to put on the play. Students were frantically trying to get everything smoothed out but it became clear that this play wasn’t going to happen. The actors were angry with the college professor who was overseeing the project because he should have been aware of this potential problem. Apparently, according to several students, this professor was lazy and wasn’t very good at his job. We visited with Adam for a few hours and went back to New Hampshire disappointed, but we knew we’d see Adam perform some other time.

Next chapter: We get a horrible phone call about our friends in Colorado.

Part One Hundred & Forty One

We became friends with Art and Suisei Goguen many years ago. Our kids were close in age to their kids and they frequently played together. Eventually the Goguen family moved away to Colorado and began a new life in a beautiful rural area. Mal and Cassy traveled out there to visit them and experienced several new activities including horseback riding up and down mountain ranges. On May 24, 1999, we received a phone call from our long-time friend, Barbara Weatherbee informing us that Art and Suisei Goguen had lost their daughter Arwen to Juvenile Diabetes just one day before she would have turned fifteen years old.

We quickly made arrangements to fly out to Colorado for Arwen’s funeral service. Our son, Adam, wasn’t able to come with us. Several of our other friends wanted to go too, but were unable to get the time off from their jobs. Art’s close friend, Ken Lee, decided to meet us at the Boston airport and travel with us. Together we rented a car and drove to the funeral service, which was held at the church that the Goguen family attended.

The church was filled with people, and it appeared to be mostly young friends of Arwen. Several classmates related emotional stories about how much they loved Arwen and would miss her involvement in their lives. I was saddened by these stories but what struck me the most was watching Arwen’s mother listen to all of these emotional stories. Suisei seemed to be in a trance with the life sucked out of her. We felt so sad for both Suisei and Art. As sad as this service was, it was even sadder when we went back to their home after the church service.

While Suisei did her best to see that everyone was comfortable, I sat and talked with Art. He explained that his job kept him away from home several weeks each month and although he missed his family while he was away, it was a necessary part of his job. He had arranged to be home this particular week because his son, Beren, was graduating from high school and many of his relatives were going to be in town for the ceremony. Art chose to stay at home for a bit longer in order to celebrate Arwen’s fifteenth birthday with the family.

Arwen had been living with diabetes for many years and she was diligent to check her blood-sugar levels often and give herself the required insulin shots. On that day in May, the alarm clock went off in Arwen’s room and when they went into her bedroom to see why she wasn’t shutting it off, Arwen was found unconscious on the floor. While they waited for an ambulance to arrive, Art, trained in CPR, worked to revive his daughter for over thirty minutes but it was too late. It’s assumed that Arwen awoke in the middle of the night and got out of bed to check her blood-sugar level but was unable to administer her medication.

Although Art told me this heartbreaking story in graphic detail, he managed to keep his composure. He must have been a wreck inside. What could be worse than losing your child? I learned how fragile life really could be.

Next Chapter: Adam is offered a great opportunity and the story of the Christian rock-band, “Oxygen.”

Part One Hundred & Forty Two

As our son, Adam, was finishing his first year of college at The Boston Conservatory, he received an offer from Phil Doreau, his best friend from high school. Phil’s family had acquired a nice home behind one of the famous mansions in Newport, Rhode Island and Phil arranged it so that he and Adam could live there, rent-free, for the summer! The home was a few hundred yards from the beach and there were plenty of seasonal jobs available in the area so it seemed like an almost perfect setting for Adam. Adam would work full-time and save a substantial amount of money to help with his college expenses for his second year. We were all pleased with this arrangement and knew Adam and Phil would have a lot of fun together.

In the meantime, Mal, Cassy, and I were still living in New Hampshire. One day as I was at Cassy’s school, my nephew Jesse DeMund caught up with me and asked if I’d be interested in hearing the “demo” CD that he had just finished making with the other members of the band he was in. We sat in my car and I was pleasantly surprised to hear this high-quality music. The vocals were clear and not drowned out by the music (as is the case in most unprofessional bands) and the songs were very well written. This was an entertaining CD.

The band was called, “Oxygen.” Jesse played the drums, Paul Howard played guitar, Chris Friedrich played the bass, Bryan Parys played guitar, an older guy named Mark played guitar, Brendon Waldron was a singer, keyboard player and handled the soundboard, Brian Waldron was the lead vocalist and occasional keyboardist, and Brian’s wife Sherri sang backup vocals. All of these young people were talented and together they sounded quite professional. Most of their songs were co-written by Bryan Parys and Brian Waldron. All of the band members were Christians and they chose to create and play Christian rock music.

The first time I heard the band perform was at a large Catholic church in Concord, New Hampshire. A group of us went to support the band members that we knew and we all enjoyed their performance. It was a bizarre experience to sit through a regular Catholic Mass that periodically had fun, rock music throughout the service. Shortly after this performance, the band members decided that Mark, the guitarist, was just not “fitting in” with the rest of the band. The band members felt he was too much older and he was interested in a different style of music so they asked him to quit the band.

“Oxygen” played several concerts at local places but the band wasn’t earning much money for all of their effort. Occasionally they’d get fifty dollars or so, but they didn’t seem to mind. They just loved playing their music. But now that they had a “demo” recorded, they had a shot at bigger and better things. They could use this demo CD to let potential “clients” hear their music. It could have led to some new possibilities for the band.

The band members had some things in common but they were different in many other ways. Paul, Chris, Bryan and Jesse were good friends and they were all attended the same high school. Brendon and Brian Waldron were brothers. Brian was married with a child and he had a full-time job that he needed to have to support his family. Although Brian enjoyed being the lead singer in the band and he had hopes of being discovered by a major record company, he didn’t seem to be very interested in the business side of the music industry. Some of the other band members were already “dreaming” of stardom; even fantasizing of performing in concerts all around the country and traveling in a deluxe tour bus. These dreams seemed premature to me because the band appeared to be neglecting some basic business principles. For example, the band resisted copyrighting all of their original songs. Several of the band member’s parents urged them to put a little bit of effort into protecting their valuable songs but for some reason the band members just didn’t bother. It just wasn’t a priority for them.

Mal, Cassy and I (and many of the other parents) traveled to most of the “Oxygen” concerts, including several concerts that were quite a long distance away from where we lived in New Hampshire. At one such concert, the band members were excited because they were promised that there would be a very large crowd waiting to hear them perform. It was an all-day neighborhood festival in Nashua, New Hampshire. The band members met down there but they hadn’t gotten clear directions from the festival organizers. Mal and I ended up driving around the city just hoping to find some sort of advertising poster or notice about the festival but we didn’t find any. Eventually we ran into someone who thought that they had heard about this event and they gave us some vague directions into the neighborhood they thought the event was in. As it turned out, the festival was in a tough section of the city and we were just about the only people who were not Hispanic. By the time we arrived, the band members had been talked into using their own sound equipment for the festival organizers. Brendon was the “resident techie” and he was always good at it but it seemed like the poorly organized festival organizers were really taking advantage of his good nature. The band was supposed to perform their concert set but now they were “tricked” into working the whole day. In the middle of the day, the “guest of honor,” Tito Puente Junior, arrived in a limousine. The “Oxygen” members laughed at Tito’s arrogant attitude. He thought he was “hot stuff.”

When the time came for “Oxygen” to perform, there were only a handful of people waiting to hear them. The large crowd they had been promised just never showed up. While this didn’t negatively affect their performance, I know they were disappointed. To make matters worse, Brian hadn’t bothered to ask if they were going to be paid for their performance. Apparently the festival organizers didn’t plan on paying the band for any of their work or for the use of all of the band’s sound equipment. Reluctantly, the festival organizers compensated the band by giving them fifty pounds of beef ribs. To their credit, the band members accepted the beef and learned to laugh about the experience.

I had some spare time at this point in my life and I offered to help the band in any way I could. I believed in their talent and their devotion to the message of the music and I knew I could do a better job for them on the business end. The band members all agreed to let me help them, especially because I didn’t want to get paid for any of this work. I was doing it, primarily, just to help my nephew, Jesse. I suggested to my brother-in-law, Greg, (Jesse’s father) that we should put up the money for the band to produce a CD so they’d have a product to sell at their concerts. Greg was certainly willing to get involved in this way. The band seemed very excited about this project. They rented recording studio time late in the evenings because the rent was cheaper and within a short time they had a master recording of their music. I found a CD pressing company in Worcester, Massachusetts who offered us a decent price for the manufacturing and packaging of the CD.

Brian had arranged for the band to perform at a huge, multi-day music festival in New Hampshire called “The Inside Out Soul Festival.” The festival featured many of the country’s top Christian performers on the “Main Stage” and over ten thousand people were expected to attend. “Oxygen” would only get to perform on one of the smaller stages on the outskirts of the property but this was still an exciting opportunity to be heard by many people. The only problem was that it was looking doubtful that the CD would be ready in time for this big event. After much begging and pleading, the manufacturing company promised that the CD’s would be ready on the day of the big concert. One of the band members would have to drive the two and a half hours down to Worcester to pick them up so that they’d be available to sell at the concert. Brian was at the festival with his family and he didn’t want to leave to pick up the CD’s because he was having fun. Besides, no one seemed sure that the CD’s would absolutely be ready. He didn’t want to waste a trip. Greg and I were frustrated that the band didn’t seem to understand how important it could be to have the CD available for sale while the band was performing. They could potentially sell a hundred CD’s! Eventually they realized how important it would be to have the CD’s so Brian and Bryan drove down to the factory. When they arrived, they were told that it could be another few hours before the product was ready so they decided not to wait. They wanted to have fun at the festival. So the concert went on with no product to sell to the crowd of enthusiastic and interested fans.

After their “set” was over, I convinced my nephew, Jesse, to go for a ride to Worcester to pick up the CD’s. They were ready for us when we arrived and we loaded over one thousand CD’s into my car. We had a fun ride back to the festival, listening to the finished product. The boys had done a great job on the music and the packaging was pretty good.

When we arrived back at the festival I learned that the band would have another opportunity to perform on one of the smaller stages so they’d have a chance to push their debut CD. We encouraged Brian, as the lead-singer, to promote the CD throughout their performance but he was uncomfortable hyping his own product. He mentioned it a couple of times but not very enthusiastically. Despite his reluctance, the band still sold a dozen or so CD’s to the small crowd that had gathered to hear them perform.

A few days after the festival the band had a meeting and we handed out a bunch of CD’s to each band member and asked each of them to do their best to sell them to their friends and relatives so that Greg and I could recoup our investment. Over the next month, Bryan Parys sold several and his mother, Barbara, sold quite a lot. Paul Howard and Chris Friedrich sold a decent amount but Jesse DeMund sold the most. Brendon Waldron sold a few but Brian Waldron only sold one or two.

I arranged for the local newspaper to do a big story about the band and a friend of mine with a local talk-radio show invited the band to do an on-air interview. I had convinced the local record store to carry the “Oxygen” CD and made sure that the record store was mentioned in the newspaper and on the radio. I contacted the youth pastor (an old friend) of the church in Bolton, Massachusetts and offered to bring the band down to perform a concert in the church for just a few hundred dollars because I had already arranged for them to perform the next day at the huge “Bolton Fair” that draws about fifty-thousand people each year. The Bolton Fair committee agreed to pay the band $650 and allow them to sell their CD’s to the crowd.

The church concert was amazing! About one hundred kids packed the front of the church and rocked to the music. The band was hot and the crowd responded and we even had some “crowd-surfing” happening! Sales of their CD’s were great and the band ended up making over one thousand dollars for that night. The next day, the concert at the Bolton Fair wasn’t very crowded. The fair attendees seemed more interested in the amusement rides and animal exhibits but we still had a small, enthusiastic crowd and sold some more CD’s. Overall, this was a well-received and profitable two days for the band. We were all happy to be done with the days of being paid in beef ribs.

A few months later I contacted another friend who was responsible for organizing a large church’s New Years Eve gathering. I suggested that they hire “Oxygen” to perform as part of the youth gathering. She agreed to pay them one thousand dollars for a one hour concert. I called Brian Waldron to tell him about the offer and he told me that he had already made plans to attend a local “First-Night” celebration with his family. I explained that the concert was planned to be in the very early evening and that he would most likely be home by 9:00 PM so he could still celebrate the New Year’s Eve holiday with his family. He refused to change his plans and he wouldn’t even mention it to the other band members. Later, when the other band members found out, they were pretty upset. This could have been their biggest “gig” to date and now the opportunity was gone.

The band got together for a business meeting to deal with some important issues and it became clear that Brian thought he was the band’s leader. The other guys thought that every member should have an equal say in the direction the band was going, including what concerts they’d like to book. Brian was very firmly convinced that this was his band and the other members were just employees. This was the beginning of the end of “Oxygen.” It wasn’t long after that meeting that the other band members moved on to other things and most of them have been quite successful. Bryan Parys is a gifted guitarist in a Massachusetts band. Chris Friedrich has been touring the United States with an innovative “jazz-rock-fusion” band that was recently signed with a major record company. Jesse DeMund is the worship leader at his church. Brendon Waldron is married. Brian Waldron is currently working in a hair salon.

Copies of the “Oxygen” debut CD are still available. If you’re interested, email me and I’ll sell you one for $5.00 plus $1.59 for postage. All of the proceeds will be donated to a charity that is near-and-dear to me. It is really a fun CD!

Next chapter: I try to buy a nice birthday gift for Mal.

Part One Hundred & Forty Three

We had been living in our new home in Gilford, New Hampshire for almost five months and I kept noticing that almost every time a guest commented on how much they liked our new home, Mal would tell them about the house that she really wanted. I loved our house because it was brand-new and was in perfect condition. Mal thought that it had no “character.” (By “no character,” I think she meant that it had no creaking floors or crooked walls)

The house Mal really wanted was located in Laconia, New Hampshire and was a reproduction of a 1700’s antique farmhouse. This home had five bedrooms, multiple fireplaces, and the barn was actually a garage. I also liked this house but there were several reasons why I thought we shouldn’t buy it. For one thing, it was built in a condominium community of primarily smaller homes and the monthly condo fees seemed expensive to me. I also thought that if we bought it, we would have a difficult time re-selling it when our time in New Hampshire was over because this home, being new, wouldn’t appeal to the true antique home enthusiasts and new home owners are more interested in houses with large family rooms and large kitchens. The majority of potential homebuyers also wanted large bathrooms with huge bathtubs. This home had none of these features. It also did not have a basement because one of the owners was afraid of basements so they decided not to build one in this house! It was very unusual for a home in New England not to have a basement. The sellers were also asking too much money for this home even though it was beautiful. When we first saw the house it was priced around $439,000 and it was way out of our price-range. It had also been for sale for almost a year.

Mal’s birthday was coming up and I thought that I would consider purchasing this other house for her. I know it sounds crazy, but I knew she’d really love that other house. I also felt confident that I could sell the home we had just recently bought and I’d probably make a small profit on it. I called a real estate agent and I found that the owners had dropped the price twice since we had originally seen the property. It was still out of my price-range but I knew the owners were very eager to sell it because of health issues. Mal and I went back to see the house and she loved it even more the second time. I noticed a few small things that I’d need to get repaired and some areas that would need some painting but overall it was quite nice. I’d have to think about this whole idea a bit more because I didn’t think we could comfortably afford such an expensive home, especially with our agreement to pay for half of Adam’s college expenses at The Boston Conservatory. With tuition and room and board around $30,000 each year, money could be very tight for us. Mal and I discussed this for the next couple of weeks until we decided we should really see the house again before we make any final decision.

Our real estate agent called the owners to schedule an appointment for us to inspect the property again. When we arrived, the owner explained that they had received a very low offer but they were seriously considering it because they urgently needed to sell the house. We told them that we really wanted to buy their house but we couldn’t afford to pay as much as they were asking. We offered them $310,000 and they accepted our offer. We were quite excited! The next morning we got a phone call from our real estate agent explaining that the other people who had made a lower offer on the house had believed that their offer had already been verbally accepted by the sellers and they threatened to sue them if they sold the house to us, even though our offer was higher. The owners were afraid and decided to give in to the threat and sold the house to the other couple. We were very disappointed but we didn’t want to cause any more stress for the elderly couple. We learned to enjoy the home we already had.

Next chapter: Cassy has a schoolmate who needs a place to live.
Part One Hundred & Forty Four

This chapter was originally going to be about the friend of Cassy’s who came to live with us for a while, but I realized that it happened after the events in the story that I’ll be telling now.

Our son, Adam, was spending the summer in beautiful Newport, Rhode Island with Phil, his best friend from high school. They were living in a nice, fully equipped small home behind one of the famous Newport mansions, just a short walk away from the ocean. It was Adam’s intention to work full-time to save up some money to pay for his second year of college at The Boston Conservatory but he knew he’d have lots of time to enjoy this three-month arrangement.

Adam was a very independent nineteen-year old and although he did like to have fun, we assumed that he’d make smart decisions, especially because he would be living with Phil. But, as it turned out, Phil had several family trips planned so Adam was basically living by himself for quite a bit of the time. Adam enjoyed being with people, so he explored the area in an attempt to connect with people his own age. Adam would call us about once every two weeks, mostly because we pressured him to call. He’d fill us in on his activities, his hunt for employment, and he’d tell us about his newly made friends from Rhode Island. It was his new friends that worried us.

Mal, Cassy and I spent a weekend in Newport so that we could visit Adam since we hadn’t really gotten to spend much time with him since he went off to college in 1998. Cassy went to spend the night at Adam’s place. The next day we decided to take Adam out to lunch so we met him at a park where he was hanging out with some of his new friends.

These young people (nicknamed “Park Rats”) spent most of their waking hours hanging out in a seaside park in Newport. Most of these kids were in their late teens. They were tattooed, pierced, and dressed in a punk-style. Some of them used various illegal drugs, (Ecstasy was the most abused drug) while most of these kids smoked cigarettes and illegally consumed alcohol. These were not the kind of kids we wanted Adam to be spending time with but I was surprised to hear all of the nice things they had to say about my son. It was clear that they loved him. This was comforting to us but we were still concerned about the influence that these kids could have on Adam. Adam was a confident “leader” as a youngster and wasn’t easily swayed by peer pressure. We hoped this would continue to be one of Adam’s strengths.

Adam got a full-time job working as a reservations clerk for a local hotel. He didn’t like the job because he was stuck in an office with no personal contact with other people but he knew he needed the money for college. He told us, quite frequently, when he’d call us, how much he hated this job.

Late one night, at about midnight, Adam called us. He told us that he and his long-time girlfriend, Meridith, had just broken up. Although he assured me that the decision was mutual, I didn’t believe him. From our conversation, and the lateness of the phone call, I could tell that the break-up was not his idea. I knew he loved her. We had no good advice for him so we just listened while he tried to express his thoughts about this situation. Eventually it became clear that Meridith was unhappy with the way Adam was currently living and spending so much time with the “park rats.” She told Adam that he needed to grow up before they could get back together. Adam tried to convince us, (and himself) that this break-up was a good thing.

As the weeks went by, Adam seemed to believe that everything was under control and he’d tell us about some of the positive things going on in the lives of his new friends. He’d call to tell us how excited he was that he convinced one of his friends to stop using heroin and that he got him to join a drug abuse program. He told us about how he convinced another kid that a “life of crime” was not a good thing. While we were glad that Adam was helping these kids, we really just wanted him to come home because we were nervous about the influence this group could have on him. Adam insisted that this is where he needed to be. He was now an adult and he could legally make these kinds of decisions on his own. Besides, the summer would be ending soon and he’d be going back to college.

Next chapter: In the meantime, Cassy has a school friend who needs a place to live.

Part One Hundred & Forty Five

In June of 1999, our daughter Cassy explained to us that one of her friends needed a place to live. Amy, (not her real name) was one year ahead of Cassy in school but they had been in the school musical of “Annie” together, and had both been on the cheerleading squad. Amy’s parents lived in another state and for two years Amy lived with the school principal and his wife while she attended Laconia Christian School. Amy wanted to change her “living arrangement” and she asked Cassy to see if she could live with us for the next school year. I wasn’t too interested in having someone else around the house but Amy was determined to continue her education at Laconia Christian School and we all decided to give it a try.

I had occasions to observe Amy in both the school musical and the cheerleading squad and I knew that she tended to be stubborn and sometimes she would refuse to give her best effort to the tasks assigned to her. Amy was a very intelligent and articulate girl with a lot of potential but she just didn’t seem happy. She claimed that she didn’t trust men but she was usually fussing about her appearance in order to attract their attention. She was a complex girl. We didn’t really need the chaos and drama that living with another teenager could be. Mal and I knew that if this new living arrangement was going to work we’d need to establish some “ground rules” and needed to meet with Amy’s parents before we’d commit to allowing her to live with us.

Since we didn’t know them, we were very surprised that Amy’s parents didn’t bother to call us before they would allow their daughter to come and live with us. Perhaps they just assumed that our home would be a safe family environment for Amy; but, still, we expected them to call to learn a little about us. When no call came from them, we contacted them and met at our home one day before the new school year began to discuss any potential problems. We explained that Amy would be expected to maintain better than average grades in school, pick up after herself, and she would need to stay busy after school by participating in a sport or at a job. We didn’t want her just hanging around at our house while Cassy was very busy after school in sports and drama. Babysitting for a sixteen-year old wasn’t part of our plan. The people she had been living with warned us that Amy tended to make a mess wherever she kept her makeup. This was a concern because our house was brand-new and had lots of white carpeting. We insisted that all of her makeup be kept in the bathroom that she’d share with our daughter. Amy and her parents agreed that these were all good ideas.

Shortly after the school year began, it became apparent that Amy wasn’t going to participate in any “after-school” activities so we drove her around to apply for jobs at various retail stores and she was hired at “Fashion Bug.” Since Amy didn’t know how to drive, this commitment to work a part-time job would require Mal or me to drive her there and pick her up when her shift was done. Amy didn’t keep this job very long though. She had difficulty remembering her work schedule. Her “cloudy” memory caused another problem.

Amy was taking a couple of prescription medicines (one was Ritalin) that were intended to help with her with her ADHD. Well…she was supposed to take these. The problem was that she usually forgot to take them. Mal casually asked, “Amy…have you been taking your meds?” Amy got upset that her medication was mentioned in front of another student and she demanded to be allowed to take care of herself. We suggested that she keep the drugs in her bathroom so she’d be able to take them as part of her daily “getting ready for school” schedule. After she had been with us for a month or so, we noticed that she had only taken a few of her pills. We also noticed that Amy seemed to be more “clear-headed” when she was not taking the Ritalin. We called her parents to suggest that they talk with Amy’s doctor to see if the drugs were really necessary. Amy’s father was reluctant to even try this because he was convinced that Amy couldn’t function without these drugs but after Amy urged him to talk to the doctor, he agreed to get the doctor’s professional opinion.

A conference call was arranged and it was determined that Amy would cease using the medications for a trial period. Her behavior and moods would be closely monitored.

I am personally opposed to most of the prescription drugs that the medical community is pushing. I rarely even take an aspirin. I also have mixed thoughts about the misdiagnosis of attention-deficit-disorders. Although I’m sure that some children actually have this disorder, I’m also sure that many who are diagnosed do not. In Amy’s case, after being off of Ritalin for a few weeks, she began to be very clear-headed. She walked around the house smiling and whistling “show tunes!” She initiated intelligent conversations during our rides to and from school and during mealtimes. We had high hopes that this arrangement would work out for all concerned but it didn’t take too long to realize that things were falling apart.

Amy ended up breaking most of the “rules” that we had all agreed on. Her grades fell far below average, she left makeup in her bedroom resulting in several stains on the carpeting, and rarely picked up after herself. But worst of all, she tried to convince our daughter that it was a waste of effort for Cassy to try to get good grades in school. Cassy was a “straight A” student and she was motivated to do her best, so when it became clear that Amy was going to be a bad influence on Cassy, we made the difficult decision to end this arrangement. Amy would need to find another place to live.

Another family agreed to take Amy. Sadly, even though there was no indication that she needed it, Amy’s father insisted that she get back on the medications. A few years later Amy’s life spun out of control. She began using illegal drugs, got pregnant, ended up living on the street in another state and wound up in a mental hospital.

Unfortunately, there is no happy ending for this chapter.

Next chapter: My old friend, Michael Warshaw, includes us in another publication he works for!

Part One Hundred & Forty Six

I received a phone call from Michael Warshaw, one of my old friends, and he was asking if I’d be willing to be interviewed for an article that was going to be published in the national magazine “Inc.The Magazine For Growing Companies.” Michael was a senior editor of this slickly produced magazine and a staff writer was writing an article about the difficulty that small businesses were encountering with the ever-changing Internet world. The writer wanted a short quote from me to include in her article. I was happy to be a part of a national publication because it would be good exposure for my two comic book and collectible stores.

Anne Marie Borrego (the writer from Inc. Magazine) called me to get the quote she wanted for her article. As we talked, she seemed inclined to include my business as a major part of her story. After our half-hour conversation she decided to make us the central business profiled in this story! She arranged to meet at our Worcester location with Ken Carson, the manager of my stores, and myself. She brought a very professional photographer who took what seemed like two hundred photos of the store and Ken and I. While I enjoyed the interview process, Ken seemed nervous. Although I’m pretty good at “hyping” my business, Ken did a better job of conveying our business philosophy. Here is the article that was published in the May, 2000 issue of Inc. Magazine (the entire content of this article is copyrighted by Inc. Magazine):



“How I Learned To Stop Worrying and (almost) Love eBay.”

It’s not just you. Everyone has a hard time adjusting to change--even a superhero. Consider Peter Parker. Other than being an orphan, he lived a pretty typical life for a New York teenager. Raised by his aunt and uncle, he attended Midtown High School and was your above-average tech geek. But one afternoon at a science exhibit, an irradiated spider bit him. Well, life changed faster than you could say “click-through.” Suddenly he possessed extraordinary powers. Parker immediately saw the opportunity in all this. He figured he would make millions as a television star. So he donned a colorful costume and called himself Spider-Man. But that very night, a guard called to Spider-Man to help catch a burglar fleeing past the stage. Parker didn’t see why he should have to do the guard’s job and let the man run free.

Days later, Parker’s beloved uncle was murdered by that very same burglar. Parker was racked with grief and guilt. Faced with the trauma of change, he had blown it. He vowed to fight crime and never again lose sight of what was really important.

It seems only fitting that Spider-Man’s image hangs above the door of Paul Howley’s flagship store, in Worcester, Mass. Howley has collected comic books and trading cards since he was a kid. When he was eighteen, he made it his living, selling his treasures at trade shows and conventions. Now, at age 45, he runs a company called That’s Entertainment, employing twelve people in two stores. (His second store is in Fitchburg, Mass.) He has enjoyed such success that he doesn’t even go to work most days.

In 1997, Howley started hearing about a new Web site called eBay. At first he dismissed the virtual auction house as a passing fad for “quirky collectors.” But he couldn’t resist checking it out. On a lark he searched for a THRUSH rifle, a mid 1960s toy version of the weapon of choice for the villains in the television series “The Man From Uncle.” That particular gun was Howley’s personal “Holy Grail” of collectibles, and he found it on-screen in an on-line auction-- in the original box! Despite his twenty years in the collectibles business, Howley had never seen one of those guns in its box.

He bid a solid $2000 for the toy rifle. With eleven minutes to go, it looked as if it were his! But then, tragically, he was outbid at the very last moment--“sniped,” as eBay regulars call it. Out of the blue, some anonymous bidder had scooped up the gun for $2700.

Howley was crushed. There, within his grasp, was a prize he had searched for his whole adult life. He had never even spied one in its original box at any of the hundreds of shows and stores he had passed through. But just two minutes on this electronic flea market and there it was-where anyone, anywhere could find it. It was at that moment that Howley became very, very afraid. How could his little specialty stores compete with a giant, wonderfully stocked rival like that--one that was everywhere a laptop could be, virtually in the air around him?

Of course, Howley’s business had suffered setbacks before, such as the slump that followed the 1992 publication of the comic book series “The Death Of Superman.” That was the year That’s Entertainment pulled in record-sales. But the entire comics industry was poised to take a dive. In 1993, Howley’s revenues plunged more than 25%. They fell another 10% in 1994. Howley eventually bounced back, thanks largely to a decision to diversify his inventory.

Now his unassuming store on Worcester’s Park Avenue has the usual floor-to-ceiling shelves with a huge variety of comic books: X-Men, Pokemon, Batman, Jay and Silent Bob. But there’s also a sprawling section offering sports memorabilia, a hugely important addition to the store’s product mix. You name it, Howley’s got it, and chances are it’s signed by Ted Williams.

In the mid 1990s, Howley began propping up his business with a profitable selection of photographs, game balls, jerseys, trading cards, bats, and hockey sticks—many of which are autographed by idols like Drew Bledsoe, Nolan Ryan, and Scottie Pippen. Still, despite the success of that effort, That’s Entertainment just couldn’t get back to the kind of numbers it had had when Superman died.

So that’s where Howley was when he first encountered the power of eBay. When he was fighting for that THRUSH gun, he was up against collectors from everywhere—Asia, South America, and just down the street in Boston. The same was true for any item he could think of, from out-of-print laser disc movies to old Archie comic books. Why would collectors bother with a store when they could find anything they wanted on the Net?

It wasn’t that he couldn’t keep selling stuff. The question was, Where would he get it? “I didn’t see eBay as a threat sales-wise,” Howley remembers. “But it is so easy to use, why would somebody sell their collectibles to a dealer that would pay roughly 50% of the value when they could get 100% on-line?” Howley had always depended on his ability to buy entire collections, like the 30,000 comics That’s Entertainment recently bought from one fan to bolster its selection of vintage funny books. Suddenly, any customer could instead sell his or her treasures on eBay, and probably for a better price. Howley’s stores and all others like them were becoming obsolete.

But Howley, like Spider-Man, experienced an epiphany after that initial shock.

Just as Peter Parker discovered that his new superpowers could be harnessed to prevent tragedies like the murder of his uncle, Paul Howley realized he could use the newfound power of eBay for good. He saw an opportunity wrapped inside the on-line threat, one that he could exploit. As an option, it sure beat closing up shop on the spot.

So Howley set up a new computer on a landing in the back of his Worcester store. He even dedicated one employee to the full-time job of eBay auctioneer.

The eBay connection turned out to be a gold mine for That’s Entertainment, a whole new source of revenues. Even better, the explosive growth of eBay did little to erode the stores’ traditional base. The majority of Howley’s suppliers continued to come in to sell and trade their wares, so the revenue boost from eBay represented real growth.

For starters, That’s Entertainment could move items that didn’t have any particular regional appeal. It’s easy to sell Ted Williams stuff in the shadow of Boston. Moving a Stan Musial bat is another story. In Red Sox country, fans of the old-time St. Louis Cardinals great are rare. For months a bat autographed by Stan The Man sat in the Worcester store, its $150 price tag attracting no buyers. So in February, Howley’s staff decided to auction it off on eBay. A fan in San Diego outbid all rivals and got it for $175. “There was some pretty intense bidding,” recalls Ken Carson, manager of That’s Entertainment’s Worcester store. “And the great thing is, we would have never had that connection with that guy.” Not to mention the 16% boost in price, thanks to the auction process.

The beauty of eBay is its power as an outlet for some of the more obscure items that walk in the door. Last year a regular customer brought in a giant stage prop of a cat’s head from a concert by the 1970s glam-rock phenomenon “Kiss.” The seller offered it to the store for $250, but Carson wasn’t confident it would sell for the 60% markup needed to justify the purchase. After some bargaining, he and the seller made a deal: That’s Entertainment would auction the prop through its eBay account and take a 40% commission.

Next chapter: The conclusion of the Inc. Magazine article.

Part One Hundred & Forty Seven

“Conclusion of the article about our stores in Inc. Magazine.” The entire content of the original article from Inc.Magazine is copyrighted by Inc.Magazine.

Inc.Magazine writer, Anne Marie Borrego, wrote:

Last year a regular customer brought in a giant stage prop of a cat’s head from a concert by the 1970s glam-rock phenomenon “Kiss.” The seller offered it to the store for $250, but Carson wasn’t confident it would sell for the 60% markup needed to justify the purchase. After some bargaining, he and the seller made a deal: That’s Entertainment would auction the prop through its eBay account and take a 40% commission.

There appeared to be little interest when the auction first went up on eBay, but as the week progressed, Kiss fans emerged in droves. And in the last ten seconds, the bidders were in a frenzy, sending the price from $800 to $1500. That’s Entertainment made $600 from the sale, at least $450 more than it would have made if it had sold the cat’s head in the Worcester store.

In 1999, Howley’s first full year of selling on eBay, That’s Entertainment averaged $4000 in on-line revenues a week. The company is now an official eBay “PowerSeller,” with more than 1000 transactions to its credit. The company’s sales have now hit a new record.

There are, of course, the obvious growing pains that come with a new revenue model. Take inventory, for one. With new auctions going on-line daily, That’s Entertainment has to stock more merchandise, much of one-of-a-kind items of all different sizes. That’s being handled now with an inelegant mish-mash of adjustable shelves in the back of the Worcester store. At first, a running list was used to keep track of everything. Now the store has a searchable database, but Carson says he finds it confusing and a bit cumbersome.

And then there’s the matter of shipping. It took a big bite from the $600 profit on that giant Kiss cat’s head to custom-pack the thing and ship it halfway across the country. Carson, for one, says he’ll think twice before putting another large, delicate item up for auction. He wasn’t looking forward to going through the same process last winter with a new arrival, a life-size figure of Anakin Skywalker. You don’t move a heavy thing like that by trusting the Force. So when Skywalker came in, Carson decided to put it out in the store to see if he could sell it to a walk-in customer—and in March he did.

But there’s an even darker side to That’s Entertainment’s success on eBay. Despite all the benefits of Web auctions, Howley and Carson worry that they could be selling the business’s soul to an on-line devil. Every item sold on eBay is removed from the hands of the customers they see every week, the ones who count on them to find great new stuff. “Our business is not a business that’s based on people’s just buying things for their own enjoyment,” Howley explains. “This is almost an obsession for some.”

The tenor of his collectibles stores is different from that of, say, your average retail-clothing store. “People don’t come in to buy comic books or toys and just leave. They talk about it with each other. It reinforces that they’re interested in an exciting hobby,” Howley says.

That’s also a huge part of the joy of working in the collectibles industry—the opportunity to hang out with customers who also love baseball cards, Green Lantern comic books, or vintage Atari video games. It’s those excited hobbyists that Carson worries he could alienate should the business go all the way on eBay.

Earlier this year Carson stumbled upon a box of Sunday funny papers from the 1930s and 1940s, including some old Flash Gordon comic strips. He eventually listed one of them on eBay, and it sold for $20 to a collector in Ohio. “But afterwards I realized that a customer here probably would have really liked to have had the chance to buy them,” Carson said. “So now I’ll run them by that customer first.” Carson plans to price the comics from $9 to $15 in the store—less than they could fetch on-line. “But we might get more value selling them to our store customers than we would by putting them on eBay,” he says.

That’s Entertainment has spent 20 years nurturing what is arguably its most valuable collection—its loyal customers, many of whom are friends who return week after week. Every Wednesday, when the new comics are released, a handful of employees unpack the boxes of comics and distribute reserved copies to the individual mailboxes of some 600 subscribers, customers who signed up for the free service. That’s presold merchandise. And while other comic book collectors may come in occasionally, most of those loyal readers show up every week to pick up their subscriptions, chat with fellow collectors, and take a gander at the rest of the merchandise. For Carson, those customers are the heart and soul of the business—not the anonymous bidders at the other end of a broadband connection.

And when you check out the numbers, he’s right. Unlike the band of repeat customers in the stores, on-line buyers rarely return to buy That’s Entertainment’s offerings. In fact, more than 90% of the company’s eBay customers are onetime buyers. “People search for the item, not the auctioneer,” Carson says.

The irony is that something about doing business on eBay, the celebrated paragon of on-line community building, violates the spirit of the community of collectors who gather in the brick, beam, and cement-floor store in Worcester. And it’s in face-to-face encounters that Howley and Carson find so much satisfaction. “Our store is like a party,” Howley says. “One of our favorite customers got married to somebody he met at the store, and they’ve been married for seven years.”

That’s just one of the reasons that Carson can’t figure out just what to do with eBay. At the end of 1999 the store’s original eBay full-timer left. That has given Carson time to reflect on just what this bold new on-line world will mean for the company’s future. What he knows for sure is that he wants to maintain the vitality and viability of the That’s Entertainment stores. “We’re trying to remain a destination,” he says, “a place where people still say things like ‘I came in today because I knew you’d be here.’”

Howley and Carson can honestly say they’ve faced the power of eBay, harnessed it, and survived—for now. That’s Entertainment will be around for its customers, both real world and virtual, for the next few years at least. Yet so much has changed, and it’s happened so quickly. Who knows how easy it will be to keep having fun in such a fast-changing world? That’s a question even Spider-Man can’t answer.

Well…that’s the end of our big-time national article in Inc. Magazine. We certainly appreciated that our friend Michael included us in this magazine! Things have changed quite a bit since this article was originally written. Although our involvement with eBay has decreased, our in-store business has increased, mostly due to the hard work and long-range planning of our quality employees.

We initially thought that most collectors would begin to sell their collectibles directly on eBay instead of selling them to us, but the collectors now realize that selling on eBay is not as easy as they thought it would be and there are significant costs associated with selling on-line. Serious collectors continue to enjoy the simplicity of selling their collections to us because we are eager and able to buy their entire collection and pay a respectable price for it!

Part One Hundred & Forty Eight
My wife, Mal, and I were getting more involved at the school that my daughter was attending for her sophomore year of high school. Mal was organizing and running the snack bar at almost all of the school’s sporting events as a fundraising event for Cassy’s senior class trip. I was enjoying my involvement with the school board even through some difficult times.

After our very successful (and profitable) performances of “Annie” last year, Brenda (the director) and I were asked if we could do more than one play for this school year. Since Brenda was very talented as a director, it was decided that she could do another play with just the high school students. I would attempt to direct a play with just the middle school students. Brenda chose “Oklahoma” and I chose “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.” Brenda was lucky to secure the talents of Barry and Margaret Armitage to handle all of the musical aspects of “Oklahoma.” These two dedicated people worked very hard to teach the kids all of the songs. For my play, I’d need to find someone else to perform the music. They would have to learn to play all of the material and be available every day to teach the songs to the kids. Trust me; it’s not easy to find someone who is willing to take on such a big responsibility. This left me with the difficult job of finding another pianist to play the music for “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.”

Around the time we began our pre-production work on these two plays, we got a phone call from the owner of the home in Newport, Rhode Island where Adam had been staying over the summer. She expressed her concern for Adam’s health and well being. She was concerned because Adam seemed to have lost his motivation to be productive and he just wanted to spend his time hanging out with the large group of kids known as “the park rats.” These were the troubled kids with lots of body piercings, tattoos, unusual clothes, and oddly colored hair. These things by themselves are not necessarily a bad thing, but there was a lot of drinking and drugs in this group of underage kids and that worried our friend. It worried Mal and me too, but we thought Adam was smart enough to avoid these things.

We had no way to contact Adam because he didn’t have a cell phone and he was no longer staying in our friend’s home, so we decided to drive down to Rhode Island to find him. The three-hour drive to Newport seemed to take “forever” because we were very worried and had no idea what to expect when (or if) we found Adam. We drove around the area and eventually decided to stop and ask a store owner if they knew of a park where kids hung out. They directed us to a small seaside park but when we got there it was deserted. We weren’t convinced that this was even the “right” park because we had the impression that the large group of “Park Rats” usually stayed in the park until very late almost every night. It would be unusual for the park to be empty. After driving around for a while longer, we decided to get a hotel room for the night and resume our search in the morning.

We didn’t sleep well that night but getting back to our search early in the morning didn’t make much sense since Adam and his friends rarely got up early. When we drove up to the park around mid-morning we were relieved to see Adam there with several of his new friends, several of whom told us how much they loved Adam. To be honest, I didn’t care. I wanted Adam out of there and away from these bad influences.

We took Adam out for lunch and we told him about some of our concerns. He did his best to convince us that although he knew he was doing some things that were not very smart, he felt that he needed to remain here with his new friends. He had no interest in returning to The Boston Conservatory to begin his sophomore year of college. He didn’t want the stress of the increased debt of $30,000 per year and he wasn’t convinced that the education he was getting was worth the price.

After lunch, we drove him to the place he had been staying in Newport. We had no idea that he had been sleeping on the couch of a family who lived in “the projects” of Newport. We didn’t even know that Newport had “projects!” This wealthy city did indeed have low-income government housing and it was just as run-down and disgusting as the government housing in most major cities. Adam told us that there were frequent gunshots heard during the nights and there was drug dealing and violence on an ongoing basis. This convinced us that he needed to come back home to New Hampshire to live with us until he could decide what to do with his life. After much pleading, he agreed to come home for a three-week trial period. You see, once he had tasted the independence of living at college and had experienced basically living on the streets of Newport, he wasn’t excited about the idea of being “controlled” by his parents. We promised to try to work things out while he stayed with us so it would be tolerable for all of us. We left Adam there that day but returned a week later, as arranged, to bring him back to New Hampshire.

Cassy’s friend, “Amy,” was still living with us at that time in our extra bedroom upstairs. Adam set up a bedroom area in the finished basement so he could have his own space and this arrangement worked out just fine.

Next chapter: Adam needs our help.

Part One Hundred & Forty Nine

While Adam was living in Newport, Rhode Island, he quit the job he had and, with no money to live on, applied for a credit card.The credit card company gave him a card with a $600 limit and he soon reached—and exceeded---that limit, getting himself rather deeply in debt.
I was determined to help Adam learn to budget his money and to get out of debt as quickly as possible. A friend from our church hired Adam to work at his company as a data-entry clerk. Adam hated this boring job but he knew that this job was necessary; at least for a short time. When he got his first paycheck, we cashed it and divided up the money into several marked envelopes. One envelope was designated for his credit card payment, one for car insurance, one for his smaller student loan, one for his large student loan, and one to begin to pay us back for the money we loaned him to pay his monthly student loans while he was without a job. Whatever was left was for Adam’s personal use. With this simple system, we planned to have Adam out of his credit card debt in as little as three months. It was also a good budgeting experience for him.

After a few weeks, Adam missed his Rhode Island friends and he decided to drive the three-hour trip to spend the weekend there. He would leave after he got out of work on Friday afternoon and he’d return home very late on Sunday night. He was usually exhausted when it came time to go to work on Monday morning after one of those weekends.

In order to renew his registration, Adam’s car, a beat-up Chevy Celebrity, needed a safety inspection. The service station manager called us after it was inspected to let us know that there was no way for him to “pass” this vehicle. He showed us that the metal frame was rotted which made it too dangerous to drive anymore. Adam contacted a junk car dealer who offered $100 for the car if we could drive it down to his business location. Sadly, Adam’s first car was turned into scrap-metal. Until other arrangements could be made, we planned to let Adam use our ten-year old mini-van while Mal and I would share my ten-year old Honda Accord. Our daughter, Cassy, was beginning to drive and it didn’t seem like she needed a car of her own right away. I actually enjoyed driving her to school each day. Since the school was only twelve miles from our home it was an easy trip.
As gasoline prices started rising, it became obvious that the mini-van was too expensive for Adam to drive on his frequent trips to Rhode Island. He couldn’t afford to buy a decent, reliable car from a dealer, so we worked out a deal for him to buy my Honda Accord and he’d make payments to me when he could.
After a month or so of Mal, Cassy, and I sharing one car, we realized it was time to start looking for another car. I went out one afternoon and bought a new Toyota Camry. Mal teased me that it was a boring, middle-aged man’s car. I bought it because it was comfortable and reliable so I guess she was right. Soon, it was going to be time to buy a new car for Mal and she didn’t want a “boring” car. She had driven her very boring mini-van for over ten years and it was time for something more fun.

We still owned the run-down apartment building in Worcester, Massachusetts and it had been for sale for over a year. I was losing about $1500 each month on it because the tenant in the commercial part of the property just refused to pay her rent. I could have evicted her but I had no other tenant willing to rent the location so I just didn’t bother. I got a call with an offer to buy the property for $65,000 and, though I had paid $185,000 for it, I realized that it was time to sell. It had proved not to be a good investment for me. Even though this was a large loss, it was a happy day for me when it was finally sold!
Once we were no longer losing money each month on the apartment building, we began our search for Mal’s new “fun” car. We test-drove several convertibles including the Mercedes Kompressor, a Chrysler Sebring, and the BMW Z3. The Mercedes was just too expensive and the Chrysler Sebring was a Chrysler (looks nice but it’s junk) so we were leaning towards the BMW Z3. Our daughter, Cassy, thought it would be inconsiderate of us to buy a car with only two seats because then she couldn’t go anywhere with us in it.

While watching television one night, Mal caught a 15-second commercial for the newly redesigned Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder convertible. The car flew by onscreen and Mal said, “That’s the car!” There was a Mitsubishi dealership in Laconia, New Hampshire so we drove there the next day, only to find out that these cars were in very short supply. They only had a red one on the lot and Mal and I wanted a silver-colored car. The salesman did a computer search and located the car we wanted at a dealership in Virginia. He arranged to have the car shipped up to his location but we would have to pay full sticker price! This was the first time in my life that I had ever paid full-price for a car and it made me feel stupid, but it was exactly the car we were looking for…a nice looking, four-seat convertible sports car. Driving this car was fun because it handled great and was quite powerful. This model was so new that we’d rarely go out for a drive without someone commenting on how nice the car looked. (Now that this model has been around for several years, it’s not so special.)
Our schedules worked out much better now that we each had a vehicle to use. This happened at a good time because things began to get hectic. Overall though, life was good!

Next chapter: We have a busy season!