Monday, December 7, 2009

Part 150 - 159

Part One Hundred & Fifty

Late 1999 through early 2000 was a fun, but busy time for us. Adam was living back at home with us because he had decided not to go back to The Boston Conservatory for his second year of college. He was now working full-time to try to get out of debt. Cassy was in her sophomore year of high school at Laconia Christian School and she was involved in several sports and the drama program. Mal and I were also involved there. We had committed to organize fundraising activities to raise money for Cassy and her classmate’s senior class trip cruise.

In the past, a parent or sport coach would occasionally have some snacks available for sale during a sporting event but it was not done with any consistency. Most of the time there was no food sold there. Mal and I knew that if we committed to making full meals and snacks available at every game, we could build up a steady business. We asked the class members to bring crock-pots of food and we’d always provide hot dogs and beverages. We would usually end up selling out of everything by the end of the sporting event. Suddenly, after a few months of this, other classes and parents decided that they wanted to be able to sell food as a fundraising effort for their classes. We were told that we needed to allow the other interested groups to have equal time. We ended up only being allowed to run the snack bar one week each month.

After our successful performances of “Annie” the previous year, the school had asked if we could possibly do two plays for this year. Brenda, our director from last year was interested in directing another play but really couldn’t commit to do two plays. I volunteered to direct a play with just the middle school students while Brenda would do “Oklahoma” with the high school students. Brenda was lucky to have very enthusiastic and talented volunteers including Jane Jepsen and Margaret and Barry Armitage to help with choreography and music. The problem was that once these people had committed to work on the high school play it left our middle school play of “You’re A Good Man Charlie Brown” with no musical accompanist or choreographer. I certainly had no talent in these areas!

I approached Stephanie Goddard to see if she’d be willing to play the music for us. Stephanie played piano at her church where her husband was a pastor and Mal and I had gone there a few times so I knew she was very talented. She was reluctant to commit to such a large responsibility but she told me that she’d review the sheet music to see if she thought she could learn all it. I was confident that she could but Stephanie wasn’t so sure.
Auditions were held for the middle school play and I was surprised to have over thirty kids try out. The play consisted of only six characters but my desire for this production was to include everyone. To accomplish this, a large chorus was added to involve more of the students and two of the major characters, Lucy and Snoopy, were “double-cast” since there were four girls with outstanding talents. Each of these girls would play their part for one of the two performances.
While Stephanie was considering if she felt comfortable playing the music for our play, we began rehearsals, even though we were many months away from our performance dates. I wanted this to be fun for the students so we planned a leisurely rehearsal schedule of only twice each week. For our practices, I had rented a prerecorded musical score from the company that rented the scripts. For some reason, the company didn’t allow this soundtrack to be used for the actual performances but it gave us plenty to work with. After a few weeks, the students asked if we could rehearse more often because they were having fun! I was pleased to see the dedication in these young actors.

At the same time that we were working on this play my daughter was invited to go to Holland on her winter vacation to visit Anika, a girl who had attended Laconia Christian School the previous year. Kendra and Lindsay, two senior girls, were invited also. Kendra was on the cheerleading squad with Cassy so we knew her quite well but we didn’t know Lindsay much. Both of these girls were over eighteen years old and we thought that Cassy was still a little bit too young to go without us. Even though the girls would be staying at Anika’s parent’s home, we were uncomfortable with this idea. We suggested that we would be willing to travel there with the girls and they could stay at Anika’s while we stayed nearby at a hotel. We just wanted to be nearby in case of an emergency. Kendra wanted no part of this arrangement. She was afraid that we would somehow ruin her fun over there, but after we explained that we would not allow Cassy to go without us, Kendra changed her mind. We were now “allowed” to go with them.

Adam finally couldn’t stand his clerk job at Providian anymore so he quit and began working the night shift at The J. Jill Company packing catalog clothing orders. He didn’t like this job either but he enjoyed working with his cousin, Jesse. This didn’t last too long though.
Next chapter: Our trip to Holland and Adam’s new job.

Part One Hundred & Fifty One

“Our trip to Holland.”

Our daughter, Cassy, had been invited (along with two senior girls) to visit Anika, a former foreign exchange student, at her parents home in Holland. Cassy was only a sophomore in high school and since we were not comfortable with her traveling such a long way away from home with the two older girls, we arranged to travel with them. We’d stay in a hotel nearby while the girls would enjoy the hospitality of Anika’s parents.

So, during their winter vacation in February of 2000, we left for Logan Airport (in Boston) five hours before our scheduled flight to Holland. The trip to Boston should have taken no more than two hours but as we left New Hampshire the weather changed to sleet and freezing rain. The driving was slow and treacherous and as we neared the city of Boston we got stuck in traffic that brought us to a complete stop. If we missed our flight we would probably have to cancel our trip and the girls were not happy about that. After dealing with barely moving traffic for over an hour we finally arrived at the airport with barely enough time to make our flight. Once we were seated on the plane, we relaxed and began to be excited about this vacation.

As our plane was descending, we could see a hint of red and yellow in the fields where the world-famous Dutch tulips were beginning to bloom. When we arrived in Holland, we rented a car and drove directly to Anika’s parents’ home. It was a comfortable home in a nice neighborhood where most of the homes were attached to each other, much like the condo-townhouses in the United States. After we met the parents and visited for a short time, Mal and I left to check into our hotel. The hotel was about two miles away and it was conveniently located a few blocks away from a bus station. Even though we had rented a car we ended up using buses and trains for most of our exploring around Holland. It was a surprisingly easy system to use for our travel. We did notice, however, that most of the local people used bicycles to get around and there were thousands of bikes parked at the local train stations.

Mal and I traveled by train to Amsterdam to ride the water-taxis along the canals and we spent a couple of hours in the Vincent Van Gogh Museum. Although we enjoyed spending time with them, it was very relaxing to travel without the kids. We could stop to eat anywhere we wanted and could just sit and “people-watch.” We didn’t have to keep the kids entertained because they were having a nice time with Anika.

A few days later, Anika’s mother, Tina, decided to take some time off from work to show us all some of the “highlights” of the country. We made sure that Cassy, Kendra, and Lindsay were okay with us tagging along and they assured us that would be fine. We all went to Delft, a rural town famous for the production of fine china and pottery. We all went out to lunch at a local restaurant and Tina recommended that we try “poffertjes.” These were small, fluffy, round, pancake-type treats that are covered in butter. These were a big hit with all of us! After lunch we headed to a large flea market and shopped for an hour or two. We were surprised to see that high-quality leather coats could be bought for $20 but after looking through several dozen booths, none could be found to fit us because we were just too short. We later learned that The Netherlands had the second tallest population in the world so not much is available for little people like us.

Anika’s mother had invited us to their home for a great home-cooked meal that night. When we arrived there we learned that because of the small size of most refrigerators in The Netherlands, it was common for people to go to the market or grocery store several times each week to buy fresh produce, meats, and baked goods. Conveniently, their home was located just minutes from a market. (Now, years later, Mal and I have adopted this kind of grocery shopping.)
Cassy enjoyed her time in Holland but she did have a few difficult moments when her eighteen-year old friends tried to encourage her to have an alcoholic drink. It was legal for them but not for Cassy so she passed but her friends kept pressuring her to try it. She held firm but it made her uncomfortable. It was clear that the two other girls really wanted to party while they were there but they were probably intimidated by Mal and I being there even though we weren’t there to chaperone them. Overall, they behaved themselves and we all had a good time. We hope to revisit Holland again someday.
Next Chapter: As I near the end of my story, it’s time to acknowledge some people.

My Life With Comic Books: A History of a Comic Book Store: Part 151.5

As I near the end of my story (believe it or not I think I can actually finish this in the next few months) I think it’s time for me to acknowledge and thank some of the people who’ve helped me with this project. Several years ago, I was asked by David LeBlanc, the publisher of Comic Book Electronic Magazine, to write a few columns about my experiences in the comic book industry. I figured that I could commit to writing a twelve-part series, but as I began to write it I decided that there was much more to this story than just my business. The comic book business was fun, exciting, and far more prosperous than I had ever imagined but it was just a small part of my life. Now, keep in mind, I’ve made dozens of life-long friends because of my business, but the friends and family are far more important than selling comic books and collectibles. But I also realize that without the business, my life would not be the same. Everyone I’ve met has influenced or affected my life in some way and it’s what has made me (for better or worse) who I am today.
First, I’d like to thank my parents for their love and constant support no matter how crazy my ideas were. They never told me that I couldn’t do it, even when I was a just a kid. They may have thought I was nuts, but they didn’t squash my dreams by telling me. Mal and I were both influenced so much by our parents, by their successes as well as failures.

I’m also very grateful to Jeannine Verhoeks. For some reason, Jeannine offered to help me by correcting all of the grammatical errors that I had in this story. At the time of her offer I projected that the story would be about forty chapters long. I’m sure she had no idea that the story would end up as long as it did but she’s never failed to do a great job.

I know most of you have very busy lives so I’m surprised and thankful for those of you who have actually read this whole story! I’m also very grateful for the dozens of readers who took the time to comment on this story. Some of you have commented occasionally and I appreciate that. The following friends (in no particular order) have really “blessed” me with their frequent email comments:

Arthur Harrison, Dottie Shaftner, Cousin Steve, Daphne Moreau, Louise Ruth, Steve Ruth, Grace Noble, David LeBlanc, Madeline Paladino, Carol Walsingham, Barbara Foote, Janet Miller, David M. Lynch, Michael Warshaw, Donna Reichle, Don Phelps, Andy Fish, Bryan Parys, David Howley, Paul Dinsdale, Gail Zayka, Brenda Carney, and Meridith Burkus.
Thanks for being part of my life!

Next chapter: Adam makes me laugh.

Part One Hundred & Fifty Two

Now, although there were times that Adam frustrated me so much that I’d lose my temper, there were also many times that his sense of humor would really crack me up.

Mal and I were having a cookout and we invited about twelve people who we didn’t normally get together with socially. We wanted to get to know more of the people from our community and our church. Before the guests arrived, Adam took my video-camcorder into the bathroom and stood on a chair high up in one corner. He videotaped the toilet. Later, during the cookout, the pastor of our church (a very private guy) used the bathroom. When the pastor came out of the bathroom into the family room it appeared as though we had just all watched him in the bathroom because Adam was now playing the videotape that he had recorded earlier. After a few uncomfortable moments, we let the pastor in on the joke.

At some point in his life, Adam began to laugh about bacon. He loved bacon but thought it was funny that America seemed to be obsessed with adding bacon to sandwiches that already had enough fat to clog our arteries. One day he showed me the illustration on a hand-dryer in a public restroom and explained that it appeared that if I pressed the button, bacon would come out. (See my photo) This still gives me a little chuckle whenever I see this illustration on a hand-dryer.

I could also get Adam to laugh pretty easily. One day, returning from a trip together, we stopped at a rest area on a highway. Adam was following a short distance behind me and as I entered the bathroom I noticed there was no one else in there. By the time Adam entered the rest room, I was on my knees pretending to use the low urinal. This really struck him as a very funny visual gag and we both laughed for quite a while. Simple things but they struck us as humorous. Although these particular three examples are about bathrooms most of the things that made Adam and I laugh were not!

Unfortunately, there were too many times when we weren’t amused by each other. Adam frequently found a way to drive me crazy, sometimes with just small things. I know he didn’t usually do these things purposely, but I expected so much from him and when he didn’t give his best effort it would make me angry. Sometimes it would cause me to go into “a rage.” I’d be screaming at him and even this venting wouldn’t lessen my anger. This just made things worse. It had adversely affected our relationship in the past and I didn’t want this to continue now that Adam had moved back home at our request. Through it all, Adam somehow managed to love me. When he was in college, he had no money to buy us a gift for Christmas, so he wrote this poem to express his feelings:

“As we grow old,
Time moves quickly.
Too quickly for parents and children.
Mother,
We have lost the time
When I slept in your arms.
There are many nights
When I am alone
That I imagine
Myself
Sleeping on your lap
But still I do not call.
Father,
Time has moved on.
Past cars
On the braided carpet
To cars in the driveway.
And my memories of games
And stories
Have, over time,
Become tainted with
Arguments and things
Muttered
Under our breath.
As a child,
I missed so my chances
To tell you
I love you.
Now, as an adult,
I will not.
I love you both.”

I realized that Adam was still doing things that drove me crazy but I wanted his time living with us to be peaceful and productive. How could I control my rage? Mal kept trying to convince me that Adam’s life was in God’s hands but I was so accustomed to being in control of my own life that I wanted Adam’s life to be the same. So I tried not to let Adam drive me nuts. When he’d do something that bothered me, I’d try to calmly leave the room before I would get too angry but this really wasn’t a good long-term solution.

One day, when I was getting near the breaking point, I decided to ask God for relief from my building anger. (I had never considered this before.) Now, I know many of you will be skeptical about this, but I’m not kidding, within moments my rage was gone. From then on, when Adam would do things that would have previously triggered my anger, I’d use these times to calmly discuss things with him. My crazy anger-blow-ups were gone! I have to admit that I would still occasionally get irritated with Adam, but as far as my extreme anger goes, I had been healed by the power of God. I certainly wish I had prayed for this healing many years before.

Next chapter: Charlie Brown and Oklahoma.

Part One Hundred & Fifty Three

I had decided to produce and direct the Laconia Christian School’s middle school musical of “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown” and I was committed to handling most of the business aspects of the high school musical of “Oklahoma” that Brenda Carney was directing. Brenda had secured the talents of Barry and Margaret Armitage and Jane Jepsen to handle the music and choreography chores of Oklahoma. Dennis Emmerton, a talented carpenter and parent of some of the students, offered to build the set for Brenda.

I was initially concerned that I wouldn’t be able to get help with the middle school play. Cassy was playing the role of “Ado Annie” in Oklahoma but she was willing to help me with the choreography for Charlie Brown. Stephanie Goddard agreed to play the piano for the play so I was relieved that this very important task was in talented hands. Belinda Simpson and Lyndel Jackman offered to help me with set construction. It was a good thing, because I have no skills at all in construction.

The high school play was going to be performed at a local public high school with beautiful facilities. The auditorium was much larger than the facility we had used the year before when we put on “Annie.” I was a little concerned that we wouldn’t be able to sell that many tickets. I’d hate to have any unfilled seats! I created a diagram of the seating and began to pressure the students and parents to buy their reserved-seat tickets as soon as possible so that they’d have their choice of the best seats in the theatre. Cassy played every sport offered for girls at the school and we attended almost every game, even the boys’ sports, so I used these opportunities to sell tickets to the play to the other parents and students in the audience. It didn’t take too much pressuring because the play from the year before had been so good that parents were eager and willing to buy tickets for this year’s high school play. I was concerned that selling advance tickets for a middle school play might not be quite as easy.

The play we were doing for the middle school, “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown” was written to have six characters. I knew that if I included more students in the play we’d be able to sell tickets to their parents and grandparents so I wrote parts for a large choir. This consisted of about fifteen kids and I added a part for the character of “Pigpen.” I hoped that this would result in at least one hundred advance ticket sales. The school couldn’t afford to actually lose money on one of our plays so I needed to be very careful with the budget for the middle school play. The royalty fee to perform this play was almost one thousand dollars. We certainly couldn’t afford to rent a theatre for our performances because the cheapest of the nearby venues charged at least $1500 to use their facilities for two days. We decided to do the play in the gymnasium at our own school. We had about 175 chairs available and we had an old, plywood stage that came in several pieces. We would have no stage “wings” or backstage rooms to use so we knew this was going to present a few problems but we really had no alternative. It wasn’t ideal but it would have to do.

I had a videotape of a performance that was co-directed by my son Adam a few years previous so I showed the students how the play looked. This helped the actors understand the progression of the story. I decided to change quite a few bits of the “blocking” to keep the action flowing more. This was something I had learned by watching Brenda work as the director of last year’s play. The kids learned their lines very quickly but the songs needed much more work. I’m not a singer so I asked for help from a woman who had recently moved to the area and was working as a music-vocal teacher, giving private singing lessons at the school. Dona Lynn Curry had worked as a performer for many years and she was a very talented performer and musical director. Cassy had been taking lessons from other vocal teachers for several years but she learned so much more since she had switched to lessons from Dona Lynn. I was disappointed when Dona Lynn told me that she just couldn’t fit the play into her crowded schedule.

Someone recommended that I ask Cathy Stephenson, a parent of a school student who had been volunteering at the school teaching chorus to the younger students. With the coaching from both Cathy and Stephanie, the actors learned their songs. Abel Broughton, the actor playing Charlie Brown, was taking private vocal lessons from Donna Lynn and he used much of his time with her to master his songs. Everything was working out great.

As we neared our performance dates I needed to step in and help out with some of the props. I decided I’d paint Snoopy’s doghouse a nice bright red. I set the doghouse up on our makeshift stage and began painting it, holding the paintbrush in my right hand while I was holding the gallon of paint in my hand. I was all alone in the gymnasium because all of the students were currently in the classrooms. The gym floor had just been replaced with a brand-new textured vinyl tile and the students were instructed to be very careful with this expensive upgraded floor. As I was leisurely painting one side of the doghouse, I fell off of the stage and landed directly on my head, almost losing consciousness. As I was falling, all I could think of was how much grief I was going to get because of the nearly full gallon of bright red paint that was going to splash all over the gym floor! While my head and neck throbbed with pain, I cleaned and scrubbed for over an hour to clean up my careless accident. By the time some students came into the gym my mess was mostly cleaned up and I realized how lucky I was that I had not broken my neck. I could have been lying on the floor, undiscovered, for over an hour.

Next chapter: The two plays are performed.

Part One Hundred & Fifty Four

The high school musical of “Oklahoma” was going to be performed one month before the middle school play of “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.” We had sold almost all of the available tickets for both shows of “Oklahoma” and we had sold a lot of tickets for the middle school play, much to the surprise of many people who didn’t believe that there would be that much interest in it.

Very nice-- but conservative—people governed the school so Brenda was a bit concerned about some suggestive lyrics to the song, “Kansas City.” To keep everyone happy, Barry and Margaret Armitage cleverly changed them. This song was sung by John, Cassy’s boyfriend. There were also concerns about the kissing scenes in the play. In one scene, John would lift up Cassy and twirl her around and end up kissing her. In the big “dream sequence” the characters of “Curly,” played by Andrew Hare and “Laurey,” played by Nicole Behan were supposed to be madly in love with each other and the end of the scene called for a passionate kiss. It was decided that John would still kiss Cassy but Andrew’s kiss would be a delicate kiss on the forehead of Nichole. Dramatically, it worked perfectly and it pointed out the distinct difference between the “flirty” affection of John’s character and the true love and respect that Andrew’s character had for his girl. A few years later, Andrew and Nichole were actually married.

When Brenda had chosen to produce this play many of the students complained, “Oh, this play is stupid! Can’t we do something else?” On the night of the last performance they were all sad that it was over and they were eager to participate in next year’s play! It was a fantastic show that was thoroughly enjoyed by everyone. Well, almost everyone. One man complained about a scene that he thought was “making fun” of the idea of suicide. About a week later the school board got a lengthy letter from someone who had broken down, scene by scene, the things they thought were offensive in the play. While the school board took these complaints seriously, they also understood that we couldn’t please everyone.

A month later, it was time for the production of the middle school play “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.” Although I was the director, I was also the only person who knew the show thoroughly enough to run the spotlight because many of the scenes in this show are performed in a “black-out” technique. It was complicated but it worked. I wasn’t needed up front to help any of the students with their lines because they had all worked hard and were very sure of their parts. Stephanie Goddard, assisted by Caleb Parys on the drums, played the music perfectly.

The two performances were interestingly different because different actors played Snoopy and Lucy each night. Several people bought tickets to both performances to see the differences. Cassandra came to see both of the shows but my son, Adam, only came to one of the performances. The play was so much fun and the young actors all did a great job. Looking back, it still surprises me that we could have sold 350 tickets to a middle school play. I was hoping to do another play with the middle-school but my life drastically changed the next year and I just couldn’t do it.

Next chapter: The Prodigal Son

Part One Hundred & Fifty Five

As Cassy’s sophomore year of high school came to a close, Mal and I realized that things would be quite different for us. Adam worked as a waiter at a nearby “Friendly’s” restaurant and his scheduled hours changed from week to week. Cassy also worked at the same restaurant but on different shifts so we always ended up with one of our children at home with us. We loved our kids but we knew we’d never have peace and quiet while they were home. We began a search for a “get-away” cottage on a lake. We gave our requirements to a real estate agent and she began looking for an inexpensive place for us to buy. We couldn’t really afford to buy anything on Lake Winnipesaukee because it was the largest and most popular lake. Even a small, run-down cottage would sell for $500,000 on this lake. Since we lived in “The Lakes Region” of New Hampshire, there were dozens of other lakes with available cottages. She drove us around for several weeks but we didn’t find anything that seemed right for us. The search would continue.

Cassy and Adam usually got along quite well, but there were some problems now that Adam was back with us. He shared a bathroom with Cassy and the rule was that they would alternate cleaning the bathroom each week. Cassy was very thorough when it was her turn to clean it but Adam didn’t do a very good job. He’d leave wet towels on the floor, his whiskers around the sink, and he hated cleaning the shower. This made Cassy upset that he could get away with this poor cleaning job. Mal and I would ask Adam to do a better job but it didn’t seem to make much of a difference.

A short while before, at Adam’s request, we turned over Adam’s finances to him again. Although the “envelope system” had wiped out most of Adam’s debt (other than his large college loans) he insisted that he could now handle his money. Within a couple of months he was deeper in debt than ever before. Handling money just wasn’t Adam’s strong point. This also frustrated Cassy because she was very careful with her money and she worked hard at developing good savings habits.

Cassy asked me one day why I treated Adam differently than I treated her. How could I put up with so much from him? I related this parable from Luke 15:11-31.
Jesus said: "There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

13 "Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 "When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.' 20 So he got up and went to his father.

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 "The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
22 "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
25 "Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
28 "The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
31 " 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "
I explained to Cassy that I was just so happy to have Adam back with us that I could overlook many things that would have previously driven me crazy. We loved both of our kids but I felt that we had been given a second chance to teach Adam and I wouldn’t allow myself to be discouraged. Cassy seemed to understand.

Next chapter: Cassy’s heart gets broken.

Part One Hundred & Fifty Six

As the 1999-2000 school year was ending, things seemed great. Cassy finished her sophomore year at Laconia Christian School with a straight “A” grade. She was also actively involved in a local abstinence program under the supervision of Julie Goetz from the Lakes Region Pregnancy Care Center. Cassy traveled to several local public schools to encourage the high school students to abstain from sexual activity and the students seemed to be open to Cassy’s “teaching.”

Adam was still working at the local “Friendly’s” restaurant while he was living with us but he really missed being around his friends in Rhode Island. He’d frequently drive to Newport to spend weekends with them and he’d come back late on Sunday night, exhausted and not too excited about going back to work. We talked about how important it is to enjoy your job. I tried to convince Adam to run a local collectibles show and we spent a day scouting the area for possible locations to run such a show. I wanted him to eventually have a reliable, ongoing source of income and since I had experience running collectibles shows, this seemed like a good idea. He also liked the idea that I’d be around to help him get started. But as we evaluated the different places to rent, Adam began to think that he’d prefer to run teen dance parties or “raves.” It took a while but I finally convinced him that the possibility of lawsuits because of injuries or other trouble wouldn’t be worth the risk.

I didn’t want to do all of the work necessary to start a collectibles show by myself. I was willing to do it with Adam but then he decided he didn’t want to put in the effort to run these shows either. I guess his passion just wasn’t the same as mine for collectibles.

Cassy had been dating a guy named John for about a year. Though she was only sixteen years old, she had true, strong feelings for him. (We couldn’t say much; Mal and I fell in love when we were only seventeen!) She was convinced that John was serious about a meaningful, long-term relationship. He was always respectful to Mal and I and he understood Cassy’s commitment to refrain from physical intimacy until marriage. He seemed okay with this until the summer, when the school took all of the male and female volleyball players to a volleyball camp in Pennsylvania. While they were away, John suggested that they break up. Cassy was heartbroken. John claimed “he wanted to get closer to God.” What he actually meant was that he wanted to get closer to one of the other girls on the volleyball team. Cassy felt betrayed when she realized that John wasn’t being honest with her. She cried a lot for many weeks. Nothing I could say to her could ease her pain and this made me feel helpless. As her Dad, I just wanted her to be happy and healthy. I was accustomed to being able to deal with any situation but now I couldn’t take away my own daughter’s heartbreak. What could be worse than this? We’d soon find out.

Next chapter: Cassy makes a big decision about her college choice (even though she’s only just beginning her Junior year of high school)

Part One Hundred & Fifty Seven

Although we had only been living in New Hampshire for two years we had made some very good friends. Through our involvement at Laconia Christian School and our church, we began to hang around with Barbara and Jim Foote and my sister Sharon and her husband Greg. We had also become friends with Mike and Liz Verhoeks. As you may know, it’s not always easy for couples to become friends. Many times, the wives may get along great but the husbands may not. In most of our relationships, our friends like Mal but I’m not as likeable. In this case, we all liked each other!

Mike and Liz owned Laconia Pottery, a retail store, selling mostly Victorian gift items and the hand-made pottery that Mike created. Mike had been a geophysicist for a major oil company but when that industry slowed down he decided to pursue his passion for pottery full-time.

One day, as we were visiting Liz at her store, Mal suggested that Liz should add rubber stamps and card-making supplies to her inventory. Mal told Liz about her experiences with her own stamp store and how much fun and profit she could have if she developed a customer base for these products. My comic book and collectible store had bought the remaining inventory from Mal and her partner Diane several years ago hoping to be able to continue the successful business they had developed inside of our Fitchburg location, but our employees just didn’t have enough interest to make this work. They had a huge sale to try to get rid of the inventory and eventually just packed up the remainder and stored it in the back room. I suggested that we could put the leftover inventory of stamps and supplies into Liz’s store with no risk to Liz. We’d share the profit on any of our old inventory. Liz seemed reluctant to try this, mostly because it wasn’t necessarily a “good fit” with the overall theme of her gift shop, but she decided to try it anyway.

I drove down to our Fitchburg store and was very disappointed to find that we only had a few boxes of leftover stamping stuff. Apparently they had sold most of the inventory when they had the big “blow-out” sale. Liz made some space for the inventory but because there wasn’t very much left to begin with, she didn’t sell much in the first few weeks. Mal offered to teach stamping classes in order to create some demand for the stamping products and within a short time the inventory began to sell. Liz conservatively ordered some new products and she was surprised at how fast it sold. There were times when customers would stand by and watch her unpack newly arrived stamps and accessories and buy them before she could even get them onto the store shelves. Liz became convinced that these products could eventually out-sell her inventory of gift items and she began to allocate more and more store space to stamps, inks, accessories and decorative papers. It still amazes me how little things, like Mal’s decision to open a rubber stamp store all those years ago, can change the lives of those with whom we later come in contact. The following story is taken directly from Liz’s store website:

“Stamping Memories was officially born in October of 2002. A new sign was hung under another sign, which for eight years had served to direct locals and visitors to one of central New Hampshire's most popular destinations, Laconia Pottery. What was originally established as an upscale gallery featuring unique gifts and fine pottery, The Gallery at Laconia Pottery began to change focus in 1998 shortly after owners, Mike and Elizabeth Verhoeks, met and became friends with Paul and Mal Howley. The Howley's had recently moved from Massachusetts to Laconia, New Hampshire, so their daughter could attend Laconia Christian High School.

“Mal Howley had owned a rubber stamping store located within her husband's large comic book and sports memorabilia store, That's Entertainment, in Fitchburg, Massachusetts. Prior to their eventful meeting, Elizabeth had no knowledge of rubber stamps except for those used to identify a bill as PAID or a check as VOID. Mal was an avid rubber stamper and when she showed Elizabeth some of the beautiful cards she had made with stamps, ink pads, and paper, Elizabeth was surprised and impressed. The Howley's suggested that rubber stamps might be a nice addition to The Gallery's line of merchandise because they were becoming quite the "hot trend" in Massachusetts. Mal offered to teach classes and do demonstrations at The Gallery so customers would see how to use the rubber stamps. Elizabeth was skeptical about how these "craft items" would sell in her shop but, after considerable thought and discussion with her husband, Mike, she decided that since Paul and Mal were such successful retail store owners in Massachusetts, and seemed genuinely interested in the success of The Gallery, she would trust their advice and try a few rubber stamps in the shop. It turned out to be the best business decision she has ever made--so far!

“What began as a small experiment in a new product line, slowly began to move the shop in a completely new direction. As the number of classes grew, the need for another instructor arose. Debbie Monell, a close friend of Elizabeth's and already part-time employee of The Gallery, offered to help Mal with the teaching. She was a fairly new stamper but had quickly learned the basics from Mal by attending regular classes. Her creativity coupled with her outgoing personality and her familiarity with the shop, made her a natural. She continued teaching classes and working part time until she accepted a position with Laconia Christian School in 1999. In May of 2005 Debbie returned to Stamping Memories as a part time employee.

“Now, an unforgettable seven years later, the Verhoeks' and the Howley's are the best of friends. The Gallery at Laconia Pottery is now Stamping Memories--one of New Hampshire's finest rubber stamping and scrap book stores. There you will find cabinets lined with hundreds of great rubber stamps, walls of beautiful paper, shelves of colorful inkpads, rows of embellishments--all that a rubber stamp or scrap book enthusiast could ever hope to find. Pride in the way inventory is displayed is key at Stamping Memories. Because it was formerly a gift gallery, some beautiful remnants still remain which give the shop its wonderfully charming atmosphere. From the many windows adorned with lovely European lace curtains, to the gorgeous silk flowers filling giant containers, Stamping Memories is truly a different kind of stamping and scrap book store. Visitors to the shop have been overheard describing it as "the nicest stamping and scrap book store I've ever seen". Owner, Elizabeth, simply desires it to be a pleasurable experience for each and every person who enters her shop.

“These days, classes are taught several times a week at Stamping Memories, with an emphasis placed on teaching proper techniques and developing creativity. Often students travel from many miles away to attend a myriad of classes taught by several gifted instructors who enjoy sharing their wealth of knowledge and enthusiasm with those who are eager to learn. Elizabeth is careful to select teachers who have a passion for rubber stamping and scrap booking and who willingly stay abreast of the latest trends and techniques. It is Elizabeth's goal to keep classes at Stamping Memories fresh and new with as much creative variety as possible in accordance with the ever changing world of stamping and scrap booking styles and trends.

“The store has experienced tremendous growth each year since adding rubber stamps despite a sometimes sluggish economy. The future continues to look bright. The additional emphasis on scrap booking is drawing new customers daily. An increased focus on family, since the national tragedy of September 11, 2001, has made scrap booking even more popular. People seem more interested than ever in preserving their memories for future generations and Stamping Memories strives to provide their customers with the best the industry has to offer.

Stamping Memories carries only the finest quality rubber stamps, papers and accessories. Elizabeth and her team are always on the look out for new and unique lines to add to the store. Occasionally they travel to other parts of the country to see what is in vogue and to network with other storeowners.

A visit to Stamping Memories is well worth the trip and it will most likely become one you’ll make as often as you can.”

Next chapter: Cassy makes a decision about college, even though she’s only just beginning her junior year of high school.

Part One Hundred & Fifty Eight

In June of 2000 my store in Worcester, Massachusetts came up with an interesting idea for an in-store event. Dave Hartwell and Ken Carson were both fans of the creativity of Frank Cho, a popular independent artist-writer who created the newspaper comic strip “Liberty Meadows.” He hadn’t done any New England appearances and they knew he’d draw a decent crowd if he’d agree to do a store appearance. On August 5th our store was packed with fans eager to meet Frank Cho. Frank drew sketches, signed autographs and visited with the customers for several hours. The event was a big success.

The summer of 2000 went by quickly and it was almost time for Cassy to begin her junior year of high school. She remembered the “last minute” frustration Adam had when he procrastinated in making his decision as to which college he’d attend and she didn’t want to repeat that. Cassy, Mal and I attended an exclusively Christian “college fair” in Concord, New Hampshire in the very beginning of Cassy’s junior year of high school. We had decided that it would be best if Cassy attended a Christian university because of our negative experience with the secular college where Adam had gone for his first year. While walking around the convention room filled with college representatives eagerly trying to entice the high school students to attend their colleges, Cassy found a booth that interested her. It was Palm Beach Atlantic University, a college from South Florida, who cleverly used their easy access to the beach and the warm weather to attract teens to their campus. It was also one of the very few colleges that offered a degree program in Musical Theatre. Most offered a theatre program and a music program, but not a musical theatre program. Although Cassy gathered information from other colleges at this college fair, she had pretty much made up her mind that she’d go to Palm Beach Atlantic University. Mal and I figured that Adam would end up living in Boston or New York City, Cassy would be in Florida, and we had planned to move to North Carolina. This way, we’d be halfway between them so it would be easy to visit them periodically.

At one time, Mal and I went on a vacation with our friends, Mike and Liz Verhoeks, to explore some potential areas of North Carolina for the near future. We loved the forests and hills there because it reminded us of the beauty of New England but North Carolina has a much warmer climate. I was eager to escape the harsh winters of the northeast. While we were on this trip, Mike asked,” Why don’t you consider moving to Florida?” Mal said, “I have no interest in living in Florida.” Although we’ve always enjoyed our many trips to Florida, it just didn’t seem like a place we’d want to live. Most of our trips were during the intense heat of the summers and we mostly went to the big theme parks where we spent hours every day on hot asphalt, mingling with large crowds of people. We preferred the rural setting of North Carolina.

In October, Adam turned twenty-one years old. We invited several of our New Hampshire friends and Phil Doreau, Adam’s best friend from high school, over to our home for a birthday party. Adam wore a t-shirt that advertised our comic book store and had a picture Insect Man, the super-hero I created, on the front. This was the same t-shirt that Adam wore when he was a young child, but now, it fit him.

Now that Adam was twenty-one, I was eager to get him to go to the Foxwoods Casino with me. I had hoped that it would be a fun time of father-son bonding. Adam asked the manager of the restaurant where he worked for two days off and I was excited about the trip. At the last minute, Adam was asked to work. He needed the money and I knew it was more important for him to be a responsible adult than go to a casino. There’d be plenty of time for fun in the future.

By the middle of November I was very eager to go with Adam to the casino. I figured that if we waited much longer we’d be too close to Thanksgiving and then we’d be into winter. I didn’t want to make the three and a half hour trip in icy conditions. I pressured Adam to schedule his two days off for the next Tuesday and Wednesday because the minimum bets would be more affordable for a beginning player like Adam. Once Adam confirmed his days off I called the casino and arranged for an overnight stay in the hotel that is on-site. The hotel room was complimentary for me if I redeemed the “Wampum Points” I had accumulated during previous visits.

We spent two days at the Foxwoods Casino and had a great time. I won a few hundred dollars while Adam lost four hundred of my dollars. I didn’t mind giving him money to play, mostly because I knew this wasn’t going to be a frequent thing for him to do. He didn’t have enough money of his own to risk gambling and he knew better.

On our three and a half hour trip home, I finally took the opportunity to talk seriously with Adam about his future. After urging him to think and plan ahead for his life, I asked him the clichéd question that many parents ask their kids, “Where do you see yourself five years from now?” Adam replied, “I see myself married to Meridith and, hopefully, working in a job that I enjoy.” That sounded good to me.

Next chapter: I set up at a local shopping mall to buy collectibles.

Part One Hundred & Fifty Nine

While living in New Hampshire in the fall of 2000, I realized there had never been a good comic book store in the area and it occurred to me that there might be some nice, undiscovered comics and collectibles stored in the attics and basements of some of the older homes here. I met with the manager of a nearby shopping mall to discuss the possibility of renting out some space in the center of the mall, explaining that I didn’t want to sell anything there. I just wanted to buy collectibles that people would bring into the mall. I planned to spend some money advertising that I would be there the whole week to evaluate any vintage items that local residents brought into the mall. The mall manager was smart enough to realize that this could possibly attract hundreds of potential shoppers into this normally very slow mall so he agreed to rent me space for a few hundred dollars.

I wrote up some small and medium sized display advertisements offering to buy and appraise collectibles and brought the ads to the three local newspapers. With only about five hundred dollars budgeted for print ads I needed to be sure they got good placement in the newspapers. I didn’t want them to be buried with lots of other small ads. I suggested that they would be noticed more if they were placed on the upper right corner of the right-hand page and the ad salesperson eventually agreed to this placement. The ads would read, “Need Cash For The Holidays? We pay cash for: Comic Books, Barbie Dolls, Model Kits, Trading Cards, CDs, Records, Video Tapes, Old Toys and Games, GI Joe Dolls, Sports Cards, Old Calendars, Matchbox and Hot Wheels Cars, Beatles Items, Video Games and Video Systems, Star Wars Toys, and more. For free appraisals call Paul, or visit our booth at The Belknap Mall.”

These advertisements began their run the night before I was to be in the mall. Some small classified ads also ran a few days before my time in the mall began. Most importantly, I sent out press releases to the local newspapers and radio stations to let them know that I would be buying and appraising collectibles and that I had hoped to spend at least $50,000 while I was here. Two newspapers ran short articles about my upcoming appearance at the mall using mostly the information I had provided in the press release. One article appeared in the Laconia Daily Sun and it said:

“Local collector-dealer Paul Howley, (owner of That’s Entertainment, New England’s largest collectibles store) wants to spend $250,000 on comic books, old toys and games, old books and magazines, GI Joe dolls, Barbie dolls, and more during the week of November 6-12.

“Paul Howley of Gilford, New Hampshire, is considered by many to be one of the most knowledgeable collectible dealers on the East coast. His store in Worcester, Massachusetts was the winner of the prestigious 1997 “Will Eisner Spirit of Comics Award” naming That’s Entertainment the best comic book and collectibles store in the world.

“Paul Howley has been involved with the collectibles market since the 1960s, and in 1990 authored ‘The Man From Uncle Collector’s Price Guide.’ He also served for many years as an advisor to ‘The Comic Book Price Guide.’

“Howley’s business was recently the subject of a feature article in the national publication ‘INC. Magazine.’

“Howley will be available at the Belknap Mall in Belmont each day to make free appraisals and offers on a vast assortment of collectibles including comic books, old toys and games, Barbie dolls, GI Joe dolls, old magazines and books, sports cards, trading cards, model kits, Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars, Beatles items, old calendars, CDs, records, video tapes, Star Wars toys, video games and systems, and much more.”

This was almost word-for-word from my press release!

On the first day of my mall space rental, I arrived early and set up my booth that consisted of four eight-foot long tables that I arranged in a square, leaving space for me inside. I used the tables to display rare and interesting toys, comic books and sports cards to give people an idea of the kinds of items I was interested in buying. Now, all I needed was for people to bring me things to buy.

Next chapter: Working alone at my mall booth from 9am-9pm makes a long, boring day.

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